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As Engle says, "Any toy can be used as a couples toy," so it may be helpful to expand beyond the mindset of products that put an emphasis on use during penetration only. Or perhaps you might want to start out with something as simple as a massage oil candle rather than motorized toys. Ultimately, of course, communication is key to figuring out what you’re both comfortable with—and the type of products that you’ll each derive the most pleasure from. Using a lubricant can increase your enjoyment during solo or partner play, but not all types are created equally. "You can't go wrong with water-based lubricant, because it's kind of like the jack-of-all-trades lube and it's compatible with all your toys," says Engle.

The first time I saw a Theragun, those personal massagers that look like a DeWalt and a jackhammer, had a baby, I guessed it was a sex toy. I am no weirdo or deviant, but if something has a battery and buzzes, it’s not an outrageous leap to think folks are using it to make their bathing suit areas light up like the 4th of July sky. Last winter, I told my pal Miguel that long backcountry tours were wreaking havoc on my hip flexors and IT bands. Miguel, a skier, surfer, and biker, has dealt with lower back issues for years. Then one day, his massage therapist whipped out a Theragun, and Miguel was in bliss.

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